It is easy to read about child sexual abuse in the newspapers but extremely difficult to imagine finding ourselves in that situation. I know for a fact that schools are taking one time workshops but not making safety a part of life lessons to be taught. But as parents, we need to speak to our children about this issue urgently.

This blog emphasizes the criticality about body safety, boundaries, and consent. Teaching children about these concepts not only helps them recognize inappropriate behavior but also makes them more likely to report such situations.

Let us understand the 8 safety rules every parent must teach their children to prevent child sexual abuse.

1. NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOUR PRIVATE PARTS AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH ANYONE ELSE’S PARTS AS WELL.

The most important rule to teach your child is that their parts are private. No one is allowed to touch them inappropriately, and they should never touch anyone’s either.

When you talk about not touching private parts, be very specific to tell what “private part” mean. And do not hesitate while teaching those. Do not restrict to genitalia only. Inner thighs, lower back, mid back (specially where girls wear their bra) also should be warned about.

Make sure your child understands that if anyone violates this rule, they should tell you or another trusted adult immediately, without fear of getting into trouble.

LESSON FOR PARENTS:

Use proper terms of body like “penis”, “vulva”, “breasts”, and “buttocks” when teaching them what private parts are. Stop using slang words like boobs, dick, ass, etc. Teaching your children the language they need to accurately report are inappropriate behavior.

2. DO NOT LET ANYONE TOUCH THEIR PRIVATE PARTS IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU SHOULD NOT TOUCH YOURS IN FRONT OF ANYONE

Private parts are PRIVATE. Teach them the importance of nobody can touch them. Children should be aware that no one should expose or touch their own private parts in front of them, as this can be a form of sexual grooming or harassment. Sexual abuse is not always physical. It could be visual or audio too.

Teach your child that if someone trying to expose themselves to them is not NORMAL or ACCEPTABLE, regardless of who that person is. Whether it is a friend, relative, or an adult in a position of authority, they must report it immediately.

LESSON FOR PARENTS:

Help your children that they have the right to feel uncomfortable if someone acts inappropriately and that they should always trust their instincts.

3. do not touch anyone else’s private parts if they ask you to and do not ask anyone to touch yours

Predators often manipulate children into participating in abusive acts by disguising them as games or dares. Make it clear to your child that it is never okay to touch anyone else’s private parts, even if that person asks or insists. Children need to know that this is inappropriate and that they should inform you right away if someone makes such a request.

LESSON FOR PARENTS:

Role-play scenarios with your child to help them practice saying “No” assertively and confidently, ensuring they know it’s always okay to walk away from uncomfortable situations.

4. DO NOT TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO AND DO NOT ASK ANYONE TO TAKE THEIRS OFF

Another tactic used by abusers is convincing children to undress or participate in inappropriate activities involving nudity. Teach your child that they should never take off their clothes for anyone, except in very specific and safe situations, such as when a parent or caregiver is helping them change clothes or a doctor is conducting an exam with a parent present.

Ensure they know that this rule applies at home, at school, or at a friend’s house—no one has the right to ask them to undress for any reason.

LESSON FOR PARENTS:

Emphasize that they should never feel pressured to comply with such requests and that saying “No” in these situations is not only allowed but encouraged.

5. It is NOT okay for someone to take a picture/video of you when your clothes are off and you should not take pictures / video of anyone either.

In the digital age, the danger of inappropriate photos or videos being taken of children is very real. Ensure your child understands that it is never okay for someone to take pictures or videos of them when their clothes are off, no matter who the person is. This is a violation of their privacy and can lead to severe consequences.

Teach them to inform you if anyone tries to take such photos or videos, and assure them that they will never be in trouble for telling you about it. Let them know that keeping such a secret can be harmful, and they should always speak up.

LESSON FOR PARENTS:

Talk to your child about the dangers of inappropriate images and make it clear that these situations should always be reported immediately.

6. A doctor/nurse/maid can touch you only in the presence of an adult or by their approval.

Children often come into contact with healthcare professionals or caregivers who may need to touch them for medical or personal care reasons. However, it’s important that they understand this should only happen in specific circumstances—such as when a parent or trusted adult is present or has given their permission.

Teach your child that even a doctor or nurse should never touch their private parts without a valid medical reason and your approval. If a healthcare professional makes them feel uncomfortable, they should speak up.

LESSON FOR PARENTS:

Reinforce the idea that medical touch is only appropriate within the context of healthcare and when it’s necessary. Explain that they can refuse any touch that makes them feel uncomfortable, even in medical settings.

7. It is not okay for someone to show you pictures/ videos of others whose are naked.

Children are increasingly exposed to inappropriate content online or via mobile devices. Teach your child that if someone tries to show them pictures or videos of people without their clothes on, it’s not okay, and they should tell you immediately. Explain that such images are inappropriate, and viewing them can be harmful.

It’s also a good idea to monitor your child’s online activity and ensure they understand that they can come to you if they encounter such content, without fear of punishment.

LESSON FOR PARENTS:

Encourage open communication about what your child encounters online and create a safe space for them to report any inappropriate content they come across.

8. You can choose to say NO to whoever you wish to. It is your body and you get to decide who touches you.

One of the most empowering messages you can give your child is that their body belongs to them, and they have the right to say “No” to any physical contact that makes them uncomfortable. Whether it’s a hug, a kiss, or any other form of touch, your child should feel confident in setting their boundaries and expressing their discomfort.

Let your child know that they are in control of their own body, and it’s okay to say “No” to physical affection, even if it’s from a family member or friend. This empowers them to take ownership of their body and helps prevent potential grooming or manipulation.

LESSON FOR PARENTS:

Teach your child to trust their instincts and to prioritize their comfort and boundaries in all situations. Encourage them to speak up when they feel uncomfortable, no matter the circumstances.

Child sexual abuse is a serious issue, but by teaching your children these essential safety rules, you can help protect them and empower them to recognize and respond to unsafe situations.

Open Communication is key—regularly talk to your child about their body, boundaries, and safety.

Remember, these conversations should not be a one-time event but an ongoing dialogue as your child grows and matures. By fostering an environment of trust and openness, you can ensure that your child feels comfortable coming to you with any concerns or questions.

If you are looking for more guidance on how to talk to your children about sexuality education or need personalized support, I can offer expert consultations. Schedule a session with me today to equip yourself with the tools to educate and protect your child effectively.