Perversion is everywhere and people are not sex educated. In such a world, equipping our children with the knowledge to understand the differences between safe and unsafe touch is crucial. As parents and guardians, it’s our responsibility to create an environment where children feel secure and are aware of their boundaries.

I am India’s favourite Sexuality Educator and Intimacy Coach in India, educating couples, parents and children on this vital topic. In this blog post, we will explore what constitutes safe and unsafe touch and provide seven practical ways to teach your child about these important concepts.

WHAT IS SAFE & UNSAFE TOUCH?

Safe Touch

Safe touch is any touch that makes a child feel comfortable, secure, and cared for. Trusted individuals usually give these touches and include actions such as:

• Hugs and kisses from parents or close family members
• Pats on the back from a teacher
• Handshakes and high-fives from friends

These touches are characterized by their positive intent and the sense of safety they provide to the child.

Unsafe Touch

Unsafe touch, on the other hand, is any touch that makes a child feel uncomfortable, scared, or confused. It can include actions such as:

• Hitting or slapping
• Touching private parts without permission
• Any touch that feels wrong or inappropriate

These touches are often characterized by their invasive nature, expectation of sexual gratification for the abuser and the discomfort or fear they induce in the child.

THE IMPORTANCE OF TEACHING SAFE & UNSAFE TOUCH

Teaching children about safe and unsafe touch is essential for several reasons:

• Empowerment: It empowers children to understand and assert their boundaries.
• Safety: It equips children with the knowledge to protect themselves from potential harm.
• Communication: It encourages open communication between parents and children about their feelings and experiences.
• Prevention: It helps prevent instances of abuse by raising awareness.

7 WAYS TO TEACH SAFE & UNSAFE TOUCH TO YOUR CHILD

Start Early and Use Simple Language

• Begin discussions about safe and unsafe touch at a young age using simple, age-appropriate language. Explain the concept of private parts and that no one should touch them without permission. Do not shame the parts or the action of touch. it can create problem for future relationships.
• Use anatomically correct terms for body parts to avoid confusion and ensure clarity.

Use Role-Playing Scenarios

• Role-playing is an effective way to teach children about safe and unsafe touch. Create scenarios where your child can practice saying “no” and getting away from uncomfortable situations.
• For example, pretend to be someone trying to touch them inappropriately, and guide them on how to respond assertively.

Teach the ‘No, Go, Tell’ Strategy

• Educate your child on the ‘No, Go, Tell’ strategy: Say “no” firmly, go away from the situation, and tell a trusted adult immediately.
• Reinforce this strategy regularly through discussions and practice.

Reinforce the Concept of Body Autonomy

• Emphasize that their body belongs to them and they have the right to say “no” to any touch that makes them uncomfortable.
• Encourage them to trust their instincts and assert their boundaries confidently.

Identify Trusted Adults

• Help your child identify a list of trusted adults they can go to if they feel unsafe or need to talk about an uncomfortable situation. This can include parents, teachers, relatives, or family friends.
• Ensure your child understands that they can approach these trusted individuals without fear of judgment or punishment.

Create an Open Communication Environment

• Foster an environment where your child feels comfortable discussing their feelings and experiences. Listen to them attentively and validate their emotions.
• Encourage them to share any incidents or concerns they might have about inappropriate touch without fear of repercussions.

Use Educational Resources and Books

• Utilize educational resources such as books, videos, and online materials to teach your child about safe and unsafe touch. These resources often present the information in an engaging and accessible manner.
• You can refer to my books – “When Girls Grow Up” for girls & “When Boys Grow Up” for boys.

PRACTICAL TIPS FOR PARENTS

Regularly Reinforce the Message

Consistently reinforce the concepts of safe and unsafe touch through regular conversations. Make it a part of your routine discussions to keep the topic relevant and fresh in your child’s mind.

Be a Role Model

Demonstrate respectful behavior and model appropriate boundaries in your interactions with others. Children learn a lot by observing their parents, so your actions will significantly influence their understanding of boundaries.

Monitor Your Child’s Interactions

Stay vigilant about your child’s interactions with others, both in person and online. Pay attention to any changes in their behaviour or signs of distress that might indicate an issue.

Create a Safety Plan

Develop a safety plan with your child for different scenarios, such as what to do if someone tries to touch them inappropriately at school or during playdates. Ensure they know how to seek help quickly.

Educate Yourself

Stay informed about the latest research and recommendations on child safety and abuse prevention. Attend workshops, read articles, and seek guidance from professionals like me to enhance your knowledge.

Conclusion

Teaching your child about safe and unsafe touch is a critical aspect of parenting that requires ongoing effort and communication. By equipping your child with the knowledge and skills to recognize and respond to inappropriate touch, you empower them to protect themselves and build healthy boundaries. Remember, the goal is to create a safe and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable discussing any concerns they may have.

If you have questions or need further assistance on how to talk to your child about safe and unsafe touch, don’t hesitate to schedule a consultation with me. With my extensive experience as a Sexuality Educator and Intimacy Coach, I can provide tailored advice and support to help you and your child navigate these important conversations.