From the era of “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai” to the new-age K-dramas, Valentine’s day comes with romance bubbling in the air, pressure around the “perfect date” and painful love triangles. The holiday seems frivolous to most parents arguing that it is a “western concept”- totally understandable. Let us help you embrace this wave and not seem like the villain to the love triangle blooming in your child’s mind when you are just concerned about their well-being. 
If you are a parent of a teenager wishing on a shooting star that your son’s/ daughter’s date cancels? This blog is for you. We at Averti Education, a sexual awareness project, suggest you 3 ways to understand what the teens want and how you can put on a chill hat to let them have their chill date. We aim to bridge the gap between teenagers’ wants and parents’ concerns.

1. Understanding the hype around Valentine’s day

Most teens feel left out when their peer group talks about going out on dates, exchanging heartfelt letters and gifts, and posting “couple goals” pictures on social media. They feel that this aspect of their lives automatically needs to be hidden from their parents. This can happen due to a lack of discussions about teen relationships from a credible source (their own parents). 

It is normal to see children lying about their relationships, making excuses about extra classes on 14th February, saving their partner’s contact numbers under their best friend’s names, etc. in movies, dramas and TV shows. This gets imprinted on young minds which is why it is extremely necessary for you to talk OPENLY about these topics so they do not feel the need to lie about it. 

Dear parents, as shallow as this sounds to you, it is an important part of the teenage journey to understand social relationships (well sometimes, romantic). You must build a better understanding of why it’s important to your child and how you can be protective and a helpful friend at the same time.

2. “The Red Safety Kit”- making your teen date- ready

Enrich your safety kit with these 3 pointers- 

1. Have a talk about the “do’s and don’ts” of eating habits early on. This could include sexual education, and setting parental boundaries about what’s healthy/ acceptable and what isn’t. 
2. Explain to them why it is important to never drift from their priorities while managing relationships. Sometimes while crushing over their dates, it is easy to lose track of time and it could cause missed assignments. This is why it is important to drive the point home that nothing comes above their personal growth and future achievements. 
3. Talk about the red flags (toxic signs that are not visible on the surface) in their partners so they do not have to take Buzzfeed quizzes to figure that out! It is crucial to talk about topics like self-respect and confidence. Urge them to be themselves and never be ashamed of it. 

It is way easier for kids to deal with the stress and pressure that comes with Valentine’s Day when this kind of open conversation occurs at home itself. 

You must also realize that you did your part. You built a safe space where they could be open about their relationships and told them about the red and green flags so now trust them with the responsibility of their own. Instead of cutting them off from the whole experience, understand that this is also a part of growth and learning. This experience could bring much-needed character development and sometimes even a mental glow-up. 

3. “Grounded, not the best love triangle” – decoding after Valentine’s Day stress party

So your teen is home and didn’t exactly follow the rules you set. Maybe they’re home late, maybe they bring their date home, maybe they didn’t turn their live location on. Maybe they got dumped. In that case, a “I’m here for you” is way better than a “Told you so”. 

Parents, you made a fun safe space happen and now that the date is over, using the arguments they made earlier to prove a point on how the entire thing was a bad idea is toxic. Instead, we suggest you continue being their good ol’ friend and understand space/ boundaries. Let your children know you’re there for them and guide them to make a learning experience out of it.